{As originally published in the Harvard Business Review}
There are three things that all working parents have in common: (1) a lack of time; (2) a feeling that we should be spending more time — at work, with our kids, at the gym, or engaged in any number of important activities that get squeezed when we have too much to do; and (3) an uneasy, guilty, powerless, nagging feeling about all of it.
There’s a better way.
We can’t add hours to the day or shrink our to-do lists — but we can pick our spots. We can choose to do the things that powerfully and positively impact our careers, home lives and well-being in very little time.
Think of them as Working Parent Power Moves.
A Power Move takes seven minutes or less, can be done completely on your own (without any special resource or equipment), and — most important — provides disproportionate benefit to one or more of the core areas of your life: career, family, and self.
Here are seven to try, and to pass along to working parent colleagues and friends for them to try too:
Update your boss. Most of us are so focused on just getting our work done that we forget to be our own advocates, to remind our managers and organizations of what a great job we’re doing. Put your accomplishments back on the boss’s radar — without bragging — by sending a brief email update. Nothing fancy; a sentence or two is fine. “Just wanted to let you know that xyz project continues to go well, the client was pleased with our draft, and next steps are to finalize the numbers, which we will have for your review by Thursday.” The update doesn’t have to contain any real news. But in sending it, you’ll look competent, communicative, and on top of things — all attributes of a top performer.
Download the New York Times’s “Seven-Minute Workout” app onto your phone — and use it. In their popular HBR article “Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time,” Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy identified regular exercise as key to resilience and results at work. But you may think you have to exercise for hours every week to get any benefit, which just isn’t feasible for most working parents. Let this app set you straight: After seven minutes of high-intensity cardio and strength training, all of which can be done in your living room, your heart rate will be up, you’ll be sweating, you’ll feel awake and energized, and you’ll even be pleasantly sore the next day. Seven minutes from now, you’ll be healthier and in a better frame of mind to tackle both that big marketing presentation and your daughter’s algebra homework.
Rehearse your “key wins” speech. Sometime in the next month, you’ll find yourself in front of a senior leader or important professional contact — in an elevator, in the parking lot, grabbing a coffee at the Starbucks around the corner. Don’t squander the opportunity: Have at least one polished, rehearsed soundbite ready about a recent success, like that project your team finished 25% under budget. Take seven minutes of your commute this evening to work on yours. Always be ready to impress.
Say no to an event or activity. Get out your phone, open your calendar, and scan the next few weeks of commitments, both personal and professional — then pick one to get rid of. Politely decline to volunteer at your child’s school fair, or ask a junior colleague if they can attend the weekly sales meeting and brief you afterward. You’ve just won yourself back an hour, or more, to do something else that needs your attention.
Commit to family dinner. Thirty years ago, the average family sat down to dinner together at 6:00 PM after the evening news. But today is different: On a good day, you come home late, you and the kids are hungry, and there’s a long evening of nonnegotiable homework and office emails ahead, so you do what works in the short term: takeout, meals gobbled on the go, each of you on a different schedule. Reclaim that time and make family meals a workable reality by:
Making them regular. Have a dedicated time, even if it’s once a month.
Picking a time that works. Sunday lunch or Friday breakfast works just as well as a dinner slot.
Involving the whole family. Giving each family member a job (setting the table, filling the water glasses) makes it a team activity.
Not beating yourself up about the food. If you’re sitting down together over takeout, that’s fine; family dinner is about relationships as much as nutrition.
Having a kickoff ritual. It could be saying grace, clinking glasses, or going around the table and talking about one important thing that happened in your day.
Using the time to celebrate good news. Point out your son’s A- on the chemistry midterm, or rejoice that there’s only three more weeks until vacation.
Use these simple techniques, and family meal times will quickly become a happy, value-add tradition. Today’s Power Move is to pick the date and time for this family meal — and add it, like an important client meeting, to your calendar.
Add a line to your LinkedIn profile. Regardless of your industry, role, or sector, LinkedIn is a big part of your professional face. It’s often what your clients, prospective employers, and executive recruiters see first. And to maximize your career, you should keep that profile fresh and looking good. So add a new skill, write a line describing your latest work accomplishment, or connect with the guy you met at the industry trade show last month. Keep your best face forward — a few minutes at a time.
Solve a problem. Part of the reason you’re working so hard is to give your kids the best education possible, and you’re committed to being part of that education. But it’s hard to be in “teacher mode” with tired kids after long days at work and school. Your Power Move: Go to bedtimemath.org, look under the Today’s Fun Math section, and find a real-life numbers problem to solve with your child. They’ll love the challenge and attention from you, and you’ll love knowing that in just a few minutes, you increased your child’s analytical reasoning skills, today and for the future.
Working parenthood is a challenge that is managed, not solved. It’s hard, it’s long, and the issues, besides being complex and ever-changing, play out on multiple fronts. But with a few practical, time-efficient strategies firmly in hand, you can not only succeed in managing this challenge — you can feel more capable, confident, and in-charge, too.