The Workparent Weekly

Advice, support and coaching as you combine career and kids 

Read here, or on workparent.com

Being a working parent in 2021 means having three jobs: your day job, your mom or dad job, and your role as your family’s Health & Safety officer.  That’s a lot to handle - and now, with your kids back at school, it feels like you’ve added a fourth role into the mix.  There’s new transportation arrangements….the ever-looming risk of exposure and quarantine….the awkwardness of explaining to colleagues that you can’t make the 3 pm meeting because of that call with your child’s math teacher….the seemingly-endless homework.  Those are serious practical challenges – and emotional ones, too, because beyond your children’s safety, there’s nothing more important to you than their education.  Doing well in school – that’s their potential, the key to their future!  So how can you foster that future in the way you want, while doing your other jobs, all at the same time?

Here are six simple ways to make the School Challenge easier, right now.   

1.    Keep the important outcome(s) in mind – and that the crush of daily tasks and to-do’s won’t loom so large.  If your real goals for your son’s second grade year are to get him reading fluently, on-track in math class, able to handle his backpack and class supplies by himself, and enjoying the routine of in-person school, then that one frustrating homework assignment or the fact you were a few minutes late to pickup on Thursday will feel like details, not derailers. 

2.    Preview the issue at work. Alert your colleagues ahead of time that – just like every other parent right now – you may have to handle sudden medical visits, quarantine-related changes in your schedule, or that you may have work from home again.  Those events will still be stressful, but you won’t be left scrambling to explain yourself, or feeling so awkward or apologetic. You’ll be ahead on communications.   

3.    Invest your time where it matters most.  Do you find yourself hovering over every homework assignment and worried that if you aren’t spending hours in PTA Zoom meetings that you’re doing your kids’ education a disservice?  Then check out “The Broken Compass,” comprehensive research study done by professors from the University of Texas and Duke, who looked at the impact of more than 60 forms of parental involvement on long-term student achievement. The key take-away: that homework and PTA time may not lead to the best academic outcomes.  So what does work? Reading to your child, talking about future college plans, and asking about the day in school are some of the most powerful – and simplest – ways to support academic success.   

4.   Connect with teachers in a new way.  Think of your child’s teachers as essential and favorite coworkers: you want to provide them full information – and make sure they stay motivated, too.  So don’t wait for that November parent-teacher conference: check in now.  Send the homeroom teacher a message that you’ll be away from home next week on your first post-pandemic business trip, so she’ll have some context in case your third grader mentions it, or acts out; let the science teacher know your son loved the chemistry experiment; compliment the administrators on how they’ve managed these first few weeks of school. Educators are professionals — and humans. They’ll notice and appreciate your collaboration, and likely respond in kind.

5.    Create a new ritual: Family Study Hall. Beat the nightly homework drama (the nagging, power struggles, bargaining, and tears) by setting a hard-and-fast time each evening that the whole family has Study Hall: silent, dedicated work time around the dining table. The kids do their homework and you can catch up on work messages. When the timer rings, study hall is over, and the whole family gets to enjoy downtime or a relaxing activity like watching a favorite TV program together. This routine may not be easy for the first few nights, but the kids will quickly adjust, and the benefits are many. They will learn how to focus better, to work more efficiently, and to use the “sprint and recover” approach when tackling a large workload — all skills that will make them more successful and happier in school and in their futures. And you’ll also have established a clear boundary between work and play — something that’s vital and healthy for the entire family. 

6.   Remember: it’s not just about school.  Grades, test scores – of course they’re important.  But the classroom won’t be the only place your child learns. Like all parents, you will teach your child the greatest lessons: the importance of hard work, the value of commitments to family, and the satisfaction that comes from persistence, and from a tough job well done.

For more of the working-parent tools and techniques you need right now, grab a copy of my new book, Workparent: The Complete Guide to Succeeding on the Job, Staying True to Yourself, and Raising Happy Kids. 

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